It doesn't matter how many times I say this and it doesn't matter how many times you have heard it...
You can NOT blame yourself or your partner for what is happening right now.
This is like trying to blame...
I can't think of anything which would be relevant so I'm just not going to try. What I will say is that blame is your worst enemy right now, using blame for any purpose will inevitably create more friction and anger between you and your partner.
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Sexless Marriage - How To Cure A Sexless Marriage
Let's face it, there is something about a sexless marriage which makes you start to question yourself over and over again.
Did I do something to make this happen?
Am I so bad in bed that they can't bear to have sex with me?
Are they having an affair?
These are only the most basic questions, there are hundreds more which run through your head like a freight train...
So who's fault is the sexless marriage?
If you try to put the blame on yourself or your partner, you may as well just head straight out to a divorce lawyer right now because things are NOT going to get any better. A sexless marriage resolution is NOT about blame, no one is to blame for this situation (no matter what anyone says).
Life itself causes so many pressures on married couples. I'm not just talking about the usual suspects like bills, careers, children etc:
No! I am also referring to such issues as politics, standard of living, future prospects, retirement, recessions etc:
There are so many things which go through our minds each and every day, it's surprising that most people can actually sleep at night, never mind perform in bed...
But! the main problem of marriages which are sexless is that they don't just affect your sex life. This problem will eventually start to affect your everyday life, your career will suffer, friends will start to feel the tension and try to avoid you, any children will start to pick up on the bad atmosphere between you both, family members may try to help but only make things worse, and so on...
So what can you do to cure your sexless marriage and get your life back on track?
When you entered into your marriage, you probably both said the words "in sickness and in health" and "for better or worse" this is where those words should be put to use.
This is definitely one of those "worse moments" and if you listen to any of the $300 an hour shrinks, they will probably tell you that you are "sick".
You're not sick in any way, you can't take a pill or get a shot for this condition, this is one of those times in your marriage where you will work together as a team. It is only you who can make your marriage better.
Don't worry, you may have heard some horror stories or be expecting the worst from this problem. the truth is, with the right kind of guidance you can soon overcome this problem. I don't make these claims lightly, I don't take marriage lightly and I have first hand experience of what it is like to go through a sexless marriage and come out of the other side with a stronger marriage.
Did I do something to make this happen?
Am I so bad in bed that they can't bear to have sex with me?
Are they having an affair?
These are only the most basic questions, there are hundreds more which run through your head like a freight train...
So who's fault is the sexless marriage?
If you try to put the blame on yourself or your partner, you may as well just head straight out to a divorce lawyer right now because things are NOT going to get any better. A sexless marriage resolution is NOT about blame, no one is to blame for this situation (no matter what anyone says).
Life itself causes so many pressures on married couples. I'm not just talking about the usual suspects like bills, careers, children etc:
No! I am also referring to such issues as politics, standard of living, future prospects, retirement, recessions etc:
There are so many things which go through our minds each and every day, it's surprising that most people can actually sleep at night, never mind perform in bed...
But! the main problem of marriages which are sexless is that they don't just affect your sex life. This problem will eventually start to affect your everyday life, your career will suffer, friends will start to feel the tension and try to avoid you, any children will start to pick up on the bad atmosphere between you both, family members may try to help but only make things worse, and so on...
So what can you do to cure your sexless marriage and get your life back on track?
When you entered into your marriage, you probably both said the words "in sickness and in health" and "for better or worse" this is where those words should be put to use.
This is definitely one of those "worse moments" and if you listen to any of the $300 an hour shrinks, they will probably tell you that you are "sick".
You're not sick in any way, you can't take a pill or get a shot for this condition, this is one of those times in your marriage where you will work together as a team. It is only you who can make your marriage better.
Don't worry, you may have heard some horror stories or be expecting the worst from this problem. the truth is, with the right kind of guidance you can soon overcome this problem. I don't make these claims lightly, I don't take marriage lightly and I have first hand experience of what it is like to go through a sexless marriage and come out of the other side with a stronger marriage.
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